Have you been listening to your self lately? What are you saying to yourself or out loud and are you paying attention? With everything we say, we share something about our selves. Self-listening is a key to self-knowing and self-development.

Inner talk

Your thoughts run faster than your ability to speak. If you were trying to speak everything you think you would find you struggle, as you just cannot keep up. Thoughts run automatically – day in, day out, without ever stopping. Once you start paying attention to your inner talk you might find some disturbing or unwanted thoughts running through your mind. Usually the more you wish them to stop, the more persistent they become.

Outer talk

In everything you say out loud you reveal something about your self. The same way as you communicate with the way you dress and behave. Often however we either don’t really pay enough attention to what comes out of our mouth or we wonder ‘why did I say that’.

Coaching and counselling is also about inviting self-listening. You can learn a lot just by listening to yourself, by truly paying attention to your words. Often I find clients being surprised at their own statements, saying ‘did I really say this?’

Communication

If you practice real communication with yourself, asking yourself questions you might have never have asked yourself before and investigating in your beliefs and values you will become enlightened to the way your life is shaping day by day.

Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself about a topic that you are interested to self-inquire:

• What is important to me about… (insert your self-inquiry topic here)?
• What does it (the topic) mean to me?
• What do I think and/or believe about…?
• What am I telling myself about…?
• How do I relate to…?
• What feelings come up when thinking about…?
• If not the way it currently appears, how would I like to be with this in future?
• In what way would this change be important?
• What would I like to change?
• Do I know how to change it or, if not, who could I ask to help me change it?
• How would I feel/think and believe that is different from how it was with this change?
• Who would I have to become?
• What would be the consequences for my environment and the people around me?
• Is this change sustainable and ecological?
• What do I have to give up? Am I prepared to give this up?
• Am I ready to make the change now?

Changing self

Changing your self happens one conversation at the time. If you need support with this change, ask someone who is able to help you with their expertise and understanding of self development.

Remember that you already have the resources inside of you. All you need is to tap into them or have someone ask you the right questions. Other people’s solutions and advice might work for them, however it is questionable whether they apply to you.