We have long known that physical touch is a way of communicating emotional love. Research projects in the area of child development have made that conclusion: Babies who are held, hugged, and kissed develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact.
Holding hands, kissing, embracing, and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating emotional love to one’s spouse.
The touch of love may take many forms. Since touch receptors are located throughout the body, lovingly touching your spouse almost anywhere can be an expression of love. That does not mean that all touches are created equal.
Within every language, there are many dialects. Here below you will find just a few but in the end you need to understand your spouse’s dialect.
- Sexual intercourse
Your best instructor is your spouse, of course. Don’t make the mistake of believing that the touch that brings pleasure to you also bring pleasure to her.
If your spouse’s love language is PHYSICAL TOUCH:
- As you walk from the car to the shopping mall, reach out and hold your spouse’s hand. (Unless, of course, you have three preschool children with you.)
- While eating together, let your knee of foot drift over and touch your spouse.
- Walk up to your spouse and say, “Have I told you lately that I love you?” Take her in your arms and hug her while you rub her back and continue. “You are the greatest!” (Resist the temptation to run to the bedroom.) Untangle yourself and move on to the next thing.
- While your spouse is seated, walk up behind her and initiate a shoulder massage. Continue for five minutes unless you spouse begs you to stop.
- If you sit together in church, when the minister calls for prayer reach over and hold your spouse’s hand.
- Initiate sex by giving your spouse a foot massage. Continue to other parts of the body as long as it brings pleasure to your spouse.
- Run the water in the Jacuzzi and announce to your spouse that you are looking for a partner to join you.
- Riding down the road together, reach over and touch your spouse on the leg, stomach, arm, hand, or … If he or she says “stop!” by all means put on the brakes.
- When family or friends are visiting, touch your spouse in their presence. A hug, running your hand along his or her arm, putting your arm around his as you stand talking, or simply placing your hand on her shoulder can earn double emotional points. It says, “Even with all those people in our house, I still see you.”
- When your spouse arrives at home, meet him or her one step earlier than usual and give your mate a big hug. If you normally meet at the door, go to the garage. Lean into the lowered window, and give him or her a kiss.
(Please also refer to the book ‘The five Love Languages’ by Gary Chapman)